UMTV Web Brief 7/8/02 - Tough Trails

Welcome to UMTV’s Web Brief. I’m Reed Galin.

The third leading cause of death among young people in this country is suicide. It’s practically an epidemic, the experts say. Sometimes a child tells someone else about his or her troubles, someone they “trust.” But imagine facing a life and death dilemma, with the experience, fear and life “inexperience” of a 13-year-old. What does it take to break the code of silence?

SQUEAL … RAT… “NARC”…WHATEVER IT’S CALLED, IT’S CONSIDERED THE ULTIMATE SIN AT A TIME IN LIFE WHEN TEENS ARE DESPERATE TO FIT IN.

Jim Hamilton, United Methodist pastor: “I think that’s the name of the game they’re playing, that their peers put on them, is ‘Don’t tell’ - and that’s where our trouble is.”

YOUNG PEOPLE MUST LIVE WITH AIDS, DESIGNER DRUGS, SCHOOL YARD SHOOTING SPREES. AND THE MORE THEY FEAR, THE MORE DEADLY THE SECRETS CAN BE.

Luis Valenzuela (16-year-old): “I asked him, ‘Why are you thinking about committing suicide?’ And he said, ‘Don’t worry about it.’”

16-YEAR-OLD LUIS VALENZUELA’S BEST FRIEND MADE HIM SWEAR NOT TO TELL A SOUL THE FRIEND WAS CONSIDERING SUICIDE. LUIS KEPT THE SECRET, HOPING IT WOULD NEVER COME TRUE.

Luis: “I thought that if I told him that I wasn’t going to be able to keep his secret, he wouldn’t like me any more.”

A FEW WEEKS LATER, THE FRIEND OVERDOSED ON SLEEPING PILLS, LEAVING A GOOD-BYE NOTE BEHIND.

Luis: “At the bottom of the paper, it said, ‘Tell Luis thank you for keeping my secret.’”

MORE SCHOOLS ARE LAUNCHING ESSAY CONTESTS TO HELP TEENS CONFRONT THEIR FEARS. THE GOAL IS TO GET THEM THINKING ABOUT WHEN IT’S APPROPRIATE TO CONFIDE IN AN ADULT IF A FRIEND IS IN DANGER OR HAS A PROBLEM.

Jim Hamilton: “As they start writing, start researching, and putting it together, they will probably find that they’re not the only ones that feel that way. And I think that’s why communication is so important.”

LUIS SAYS WRITING ABOUT HIS BEST FRIEND’S SUICIDE HAS HELPED HIM DEAL WITH SOME OF THE GUILT AND THE PROFOUND REMORSE HE WAS LEFT WITH.

Luis: “And I never thought that he would do something like this, but apparently he did. And it could have been prevented if I had told somebody.”

United Methodist family therapist Brenda Dew says learning to listen is the most important factor in preventing suicide. Her advice to parents: find the right time and the right place to give kids a chance to reveal what's on their minds.

Most parents only spend about five minutes a week where they actually talk with their child and listen to them when they aren’t giving them orders.

Other teenagers are going to have to help teenagers. Teachers are going to have to be more aware. And I think the whole public has to understand that this is becoming an epidemic.

Every four out of five people who say they’re going to commit suicide, and one who does, have already reported that they’re going to commit suicide. Either the parent didn’t take it seriously, or the kids didn’t take it seriously. They just don’t believe that they’ll follow through.

If they say, “I’m going to kill myself,” and they start giving you all their property, that’s a sign. Or if all of a sudden they’ve been very, very depressed and just overnight they get happy, you need to watch this child. Or if they all of a sudden get into drugs, or they don’t want to be with people any more, all of these are symptoms.

We have to say, “Well, if you’re going to kill yourself, how will you do it?” Or not be afraid to ask, “Have you ever thought about killing yourself?” A lot of people don’t like to ask that question, because they feel like if they ask it, it plants the idea. Well, it doesn’t. And if they have a plan, you need to get them help immediately.

Intro Riding High:

In Wichita Falls, Texas, a United Methodist mission is finding a way to connect with children who have physical challenges. These kids are encouraged to saddle up, and ride high.

Riding High story:

“Good morning.”

THEY COME, SOMETIMES FROM MORE THAN AN HOUR AWAY, TO SPEND A FEW HOURS IN THE HOT SUN, DOING SOMETHING MANY THOUGHT WAS NEVER POSSIBLE FOR THESE CHILDREN.

“Just trying to get him all nice and clean, get all the dirt off of him.”

THE PREPARATIONS ARE ALL DONE, THE HORSES ARE SADDLED UP, READY TO RIDE.

THANKS TO THE VOLUNTEERS AT WHISPERS OF HOPE, IN WICHITA FALLS, TEXAS, MORE THAN NINETY CHALLENGED CHILDREN ARE BEING COWBOYS THIS SUMMER, LEARNING THE ROPES.

Jeffrey Nelly: “Like if you want to turn right, you do like this, see, and his head turns right.”

TEN-YEAR-OLD JEFFREY NELLY HAS A HEART CONDITION THAT PREVENTS HIM FROM PLAYING SPORTS SUCH AS BASEBALL AND FOOTBALL, BUT HE HAS MASTERED THE ART OF THE BARRELS ALL BY HIMSELF.

Mary Elizabeth Pearce: “He comes out, too, and helps on Saturday. He likes to volunteer, too. And that’s a good thing, because they can give back what they receive.”

DIRECTOR MARY ELIZABETH PEARCE, A UNITED METHODIST MISSIONARY, HAS 15 DONATED HORSES AND MORE THAN 174 VOLUNTEERS, MOSTLY TEENAGERS.

THREE-YEAR-OLD EMILY COMES ONCE A WEEK AND IS LEARNING MORE THAN HORSEMANSHIP. HER MOM SAYS SHE IS MUCH MORE VERBAL, AND HER ATTENTION SPAN HAS INCREASED SINCE SHE STARTED THE THERAPEUTIC RIDING CLASSES.

“For her to sit on a horse for 45 minutes, she won’t do anything and sit that long.”

FOUR-YEAR-OLD TASHAWNA HAS THREE VOLUNTEERS TO HELP HER RIDE.

FOR THE CHILDREN, FOR AN HOUR EACH WEEK, THE FREEDOM FROM THEIR WHEELCHAIRS HELPS BOOST SELF-ESTEEM.

Mary Elizabeth Pearce: “Every time I look around and I see my kids and what goes on with them, they just do an outstanding job and I am so proud of all of them.”

On the next UMTV Web brief …

United Methodist “Cover Girls.”

Thanks for watching, make it a good week.